"The more difficulties one has to encounter, within and without, the more significant and the higher in inspiration his life will be."

Brayden and I have had a bumpy last couple of days, however; within time—everything shall pass. I love my son more than he or anyone will ever know. Brayden is such a blessing and I want nothing but the best for him, because that is what he deserves—the Best! Brayden is so smart, an intellectual as I like to say. This two-year-old is in touch with his feelings, in that; Brayden will express himself when he is scared, sad, upset, and going through any other emotion. There really is not enough time in the day to appreciate every moment with this child, because every moment with him is a gift from God.

Brayden:

• Do not ever say you “Can not” do something. If someone suggests you cannot do something, show them that they are wrong and do it! You can do anything you put your mind to.

• Also, know that your friends will come and go, but your family will be here with you FOREVER! Your family is your blood and will love you regardless.

• Respect your elders, parents, self, and friends. Your word is all you have, and once you have lost that—you have lost yourself.

• If you are going to do something in your life, do it to the best of your ability. Everything you do in life is a reflection of YOU. So, why would you want to half-ass something. Feel good about what you do, and at the end of the day be able to say that for one) you did you best and can feel good about it and two) you did the right thing!

• Be true to yourself, because at the end of the day you will want to recognize who you are and what you stand for.

• Have confidence! I know this sounds simple enough, but do not ever doubt yourself. You are capable of doing things you may never dream of doing.

• Do not lie! Would you want to be known as a liar? Who would trust you? Given that trust is so important in life, lying is not worth it! Remember, your word is all you have. When you lie, you lose credibility and people's trust; in addition, you discredit yourself. Also, that is just more to remember. There is no need for it!

• I may not be the best parent all the time, but all I can say is I did my best and love you unconditionally!

To be completely honest, I have no idea why I decided to give Brayden’s life lessons in this blog post, but whatever floats my boat, right? Anyway, the reason for this post is to convey with you the moment Brayden and I shared this evening.

Gymboree is Brayden’s favorite place to go, and in addition, to our initial membership and classes on Saturday’s. Gymboree has what they like to call, “open-gym time” throughout the week at various times. This is where Brayden can go play in the Gymboree facility without any instruction. Luckily, for Brayden, I thought it would be enjoyable to go this evening!

Brayden and I had a long drive, because we were driving up from Pueblo. However, this car drive was well worth the wait! Once we were half way, Brayden started asking me where Daddy was. He wanted his Daddy! After I told him a few times that Daddy is at work and we will see him soon. Brayden became upset. He stuck his bottom lip out and told me he was sad!

Talk about heart breaking, to see my two-year-old tell me he is sad. I told Brayden not to be sad and that Daddy will be home soon.

His response was, “I miss Daddy!”

(Pause)……

What am I supposed to say to that? It was heartbreaking, because Brayden wanted something let alone someone—HIS FATHER—and I was unable to give that to him. He proceeded by repeating how sad he was, and sticking his bottom lip out the rest of the car ride. In addition, Brayden and I held hands for most of the car ride as well, which happens far and few between.

I cannot begin to endure the pain Brayden must be feeling in his heart. His Daddy means the world to him, and I know, without Mike—life is just not the same. That goes for both of us! To top it off, how remarkable it is for Brayden to be able to identify with his emotions and speak about them. He knows he is sad, because Daddy is not here. However, to know that he misses him and loves him is incredible. I told Brayden that Daddy loves him so much and will be home soon. In addition, that Daddy will always be here, but just had to go away for a while.

By far that was the most difficult moment I have had to deal with. I was speechless, because honestly, I never really thought about what Brayden was feeling. I mean, I knew he was sad, but did not realize how attentive and conscious of the whole situation he is. I have managed to implement Daddy into our everyday lives that way the idea of Daddy and Mike never leave his mind.

I know this will be one of many more days to come. Even when Brayden and I go on post, he says, “Daddy?? Daddy??” because of all the Soldiers in uniform. I hope that time will pass in a hurry and we can have our missing piece back in our lives. It is just a matter of time. I am just speechless in this whole situation because the pain and sorrow I witnessed in Brayden’s little eyes was just heartbreaking!

Mike:

I know this is a struggle for you as well—being away from Brayden. However, please know that Brayden loves you so much and this next year will pass quickly. In addition, KNOW that Brayden will never forget who his Daddy is! We love you sooo much!